Lucky Wok: 15129 W 87th St.

This visit lay to rest one of the rumors I've heard my entire adult life, but somehow never quite believed. It goes something like this:

Chinese restaurants cater so much to their American clientele such that they dumb down the food on their menu. But, unbeknownst to non-Chinese, there is always a Chinese version of the menu that contains more authentic (and delicious) dishes intended for a more refined Chinese palate. Certainly I've been to these restaurants before and seen platters of completely unfamiliar and sometimes odd food being delivered to Chinese patrons. An alternate version of the theory proposes that native Chinese can just order "whole fish" or merely ask for what's good that day and get treated to a custom made feast.

I tended to disbelieve these rumors because misconceptions about Chinese persons and their food run rampant. I can't tell you how many reviews I've read that insist that such and such restaurant serves dog or cat, or they practice highly unsanitary food handling, or they skimp on quality because they think Caucasian diners won't notice. The "secret menu" idea just seemed like a paranoid white person's way of saying "they only serve the good stuff to the Chinese."

Well, I'm happy to say that Chinese menus are indeed real. Real credit for turning me on to this revelation goes to commenter Tze Yuin who encouraged me to try Lucky Wok, and the ever-respectable, eloquent and refined Ulterior Epicure who has an absolutely essential post on great, authentic Chinese dining in Kansas City. In fact, skip the rest of this post and just read his. He is much more knowledgeable than I am, though far less likely to bring up Knight Rider, Schlitz Malt Liquor, or Englebert Humperdink than me.



So yeah, I walk inside Lucky Wok only to be greeted by the most pedestrian Chinese buffet I have ever seen. The usual assortment of beige, deep fried nuggets are on display accompanied by the requisite orange and red sauces that could double as dessert toppings. I realize these things have their appeal, but so does port wine cheese spread. The woman at the counter seated me, assuming I wanted the buffet. I asked to see a menu and she handed me a tome that offered the typical Amero-Chinese delights: Egg Foo-Yung, Sweet and Sour everything, Lo Mein, and various other things that are synonymous with "deep fried pieces of meat with sweet technicolor sauce."

Then I asked if I could see the Chinese menu. She didn't bat an eye and immediately handed over an only slightly smaller booklet which offered a completely different set of dishes. Seriously I cannot overstate the disconnect between the regular menu and the Chinese menu. This was stuff that looked delicious, stuff I found vaguely disturbing, stuff I couldn't understand and most importantly, stuff I had never heard of.

The menu was split into categories: soups, noodles, Hong Kong style dishes, seafood, beef, pork, chicken--possibly a couple others. I ordered Hot & Spicy bean curd and Double Delight Soup.



The soup ($2.25) was beautiful to behold and pleasing to the taste buds. Two varieties of ground fish cake floating in a mild chicken broth. It was delicious, though a tad on the fish-tastic side for most Western tastes I'll warrant. The broth was pleasantly greasy and not overpowering--clearly house made.

The tofu dish ($6.95) was a little more run of the mill than I expected. I could have been more adventurous in my choice of dishes for sure. This was basically a stir fry with tofu, green peppers, pork, hot peppers and straw mushrooms. Yes, there was pork in the tofu dish, no one ever claimed it was vegetarian.

So it wasn't an overwhelmingly unfamiliar flavor at all, just a simple stir fry with good, fresh ingredients (well, the mushrooms were likely canned) and I couldn't stop eating it. So sorry, no bizarre flavors here folks. In fact, many of the dishes on the Chinese menu seemed like they would appeal to many gringos. I say these restaurants should publicize these menus more and expand their client base. Or not. Personally I like the feeling of eating something really special while fat guys with mustaches are eating egg rolls from a Sysco bag and sweet & sour sauce squeezed out of a pouch. The portion was outstanding, easily enough to have leftovers the next day.



The service was truly wonderful. It was absolutely no trouble to order from the menu during lunch buffet hours and didn't mind when I asked for the Chinese version. The food came out quickly and was so freaking hot that I could hardly eat for 5 minutes.

The decor is pretty typical and unremarkable. Red vinyl booths, some gold-accentuated artwork. Nothing fancy, nothing particularly tasteful as far as I'm concerned, but this is a lunch joint. The taste needs to be on the plate, not on the wall.

So overall, an outstanding experience. I can't thank Tze Yuin enough for his recommendation and encouragement to move into uncharted territory for me. Seriously, from now on, I'm asking for Chinese menus at Chinese restaurants. I don't care if I risk looking like a pompous douche or a creepy asiaphile. It really makes all the difference.

KC Grill & Kabob

KC Grill & Kabob is a nice little Middle Eastern lunch spot situated in the back of a shopping center off 87th Parkway in Lenexa. Despite its unassuming locale, it manages to create a friendly, bustling ambiance with a small sea of tables, some fresh plants in the window and a small buffet at the back of the place. On nice days, the door is propped open allowing a nice breeze to filter through. There are also a couple tables outside on the sidewalk. Inside there were two TVs quietly showing a DVD called "Belly Dancing Divas." This certainly set the mood, but I found the mild titilation somewhat distracting.

It seems to be a buffet-only affair at lunchtime. Buffets are weird because you walk in and aren't sure whether to hit to food line, sit down and wait, wait to be seated...whatever. These are details that irk insecure midwestern diners. There is only one waitress working the place, and she seems to be hustling quite a bit even though there are no orders to take, and no food to deliver. But between seating people, taking drink orders, refilling glasses and busing tables she keeps busy. This is not really an issue until you need your check.

But I'm happy to report that the food here is generally quite good within certain boundaries. Basically, it's good to experiment with the authentic items on the buffet, which most of them are. Some of the staples of Middles Eastern food are lacking (no hummus?) but there are some interesting things with names that I've forgotten, like an interesting lentil and tomato dish, some kind of sauce reminiscent of tzatsiki, and a small, flat, vegetable patty that tastes like an Indian pakorah.



I overheard from the owner that this place reflects an Afghan perspective on middle Eastern food, as opposed to Persian which seems to be more common. The first time I visited, a big round table was occupied by native Iraqis who expressed great pleasure in the food. The owner tends to wander around the place, joking with people, checking up on whether they like the food. So you tend to overhear lots of things. Since I had not dined there before, the owner instructed the waitress to show me the buffet and explain what all the items were. A nice touch, but a tad awkward. The owner is quite a character, though. He was constantly making jokes I only half understood, and constantly talks tothe assortment of regulars that eat there. The restaurant business attracts very colorful people. That's my way of saying that you'd have to be crazy to open a restaurant, much less an Afghan place in a Lenexa strip mall.

I'm happy to report that KC Grill & Kabob attracts a very nice lunch crowd and I'm not worried for its immediate future. Basically I like the place because the buffet makes it fast, it has a local owner who's kind of a nutter, and some of the food is very good. I did have a couple of disappointing things on one visit. One chicken dish was basically cooked with cheap BBQ sauce and another with something reminiscent of Frank's Red hot. It was probably Frank's Red hot.

My advice? Stick with the kabobs and rice dishes (of which there are several). The cabbage rice in particular is excellent, something I've never had before. They always have grilled tomatoes, too which are a nice accompaniment to cooked meats. The Baba ghanoush is quite tasty, too but the pita (if that's what it is) is thin and kind of cracker-like.

If it looks authentic, eat it. If it looks like BBQ chicken, don't.

The Pizza Man: 10212 Pflumm (Lenexa)

In the food world Chicago is mostly known for this



But my favorite part of living (and eating) there was this monstrosity



A big shout-out here to a reader and ex-Chicagoan who turned me on to Pizza Man and its truly delicious Italian Beef!

Just up the road a touch from Lenexa's hilariously named Stonewall Inn, lies an unpretentious lunch spot that serves up some of the best humble lunch classics in true Chicago fashion and its beef is good enough to sate those unmistakable meat cravings associated with this glorious nugget of beefosity.

For the uninitiated, an italian beef is a sandwich consisting of shaved roast beef that has been cooked with italian spices. It is invariably accompanied by a thin, beefy jus infused with oregano, and topped with sauteed peppers and/or onions and/or giardiniera. Giardiniera itself is worthy of its own post, no-its own blog, but suffice it to say that it consists of pickled peppers and other vegetables. It can be hot or mild and often contains oddballs like cauliflower, carrots, green olives, capers...really anything.



An italian beef can be served dry or wet (topped with a ladleful of jus) or dipped (dipped in the jus). Pizza Man serves the gravy on the side which works just fine for me. I know, wet bread? Sounds gross, but lemme tell ya people, it isn't. It's really really good. A lot of that has to do with the dense, spongy roll that is the carrier of all this deliciousness. It just works.

Pizza Man is a cool little place too. You order at the counter and Mr. Crusty at the counter (who really really really likes KU basketball) brings it out to you. The place was only a little busy but my beef did take a while to come out. And I got mine before the dude who was in front of me in line. Whatever, they got italian beef, man, they could tell me to fuck off and I'd still go back.

Anyway, there are a few arcade games in the joint too which you just don't see enough of anymore. Oh, did I mention they sell beer? yeah I'm thinking about knocking back a few, eating italian beefs and playing galaga all weekend.



So Pizza Man gets a big thumbs up from me. And the menu is very sizable--lots of pizza as you can imagine, and chicago style hot dogs to boot. They also have meatball sandwiches and some other heart clogging cravables.

If you are hankering for more check out this web page of italian beef photos!

Or the Wikipedia Entry

Holyland Cafe: 12275 W 87th (Lenexa)

Holy Land Cafe is probably the best middle eastern food you'll find out in this part of Johnson County. Actually I have no idea if that's true since this is the only middle eastern place in JoCo I've eaten. But, I'm sticking by my declaration!



HLC is a fairly interesting spot in an unremarkable strip mall at 87th and Monrovia. You can't see it from the road because there is a Taco Bell in the way. From my red vinyl padded booth in this veritably empty restaurant I could see the Taco Bell drive-thru. They were cranking out hot cheesy beef melts and chalupas like crazy. The poor bastards at Holy Land Cafe can't be making a decent living unless they are running stolen goods out the back door or something. Which I wouldn't rule out.

Their website describes the place thusly: "Eastern aroma of mystery creates a calm quiet setting which includes classic and ethnic music." Wow, i couldn't have said it better myself. Yeah it was totally like a harem in there, what with all the hotel art, formica and vinyl. As for the music, I don't even remember what it was, but the dude in the kitchen was definitely watching some highly colorful "classic and ethnic" television.

Walking in the front door, it looks like this would be counter service, but you actually sit down and get waited on. The guys who run the place are...well, moderately creepy is the only phrase for it. The dude who waits tables is definitely not rude, maybe just incredibly shy. I gave him my order and he kind of stood there until I gave him the menu. Then I said "that's all I need, thanks" which is what gave him the cue to walk away. Yes, there was a Norman Bates quality to him.

Can I take your order sir?

But hey, the food is pretty good. I had a delicious kefta kabob pita, which came with a nice salad and a scoop of rice for good measure. Kefta kabobs are basically a delightful mixture of ground lamb and spices which are formed into balls and grilled. The were quite good, and a nice change of pace from middle eastern staples like falafel. The menu featured all the usual suspects: shawarma, falafel, hummus, tabouleh, as well as some other lunch specials for about six bucks. I distinctly recall several options for vegetarians as well.

There is tons of stuff on the menu, and I'll most likely be back when I'm out in that neck of the woods. Holyland cafe is situated right next door to a pretty sizable and good looking halal market. It's a like a little touch of Persia right in a strip mall in Lenexa.