Cafe Song: 7425 Quivira

Cafe Song is another entry in a rather impressive cadre of quality Vietnamese restaurants in the KC metro. I will say, however, that it is not my favorite among them.

Located near Quivira and 75th in a strip mall, it can be somewhat difficult to locate from the road. But it is a fairly sizable space with attractive, modern, but casual decor. I've been two times now and the place has been frighteningly empty on both occasions. The whole shebang appears to be staffed by two people: a youngish waiter with a pony tail (bad move dude) and a Vietnamese woman who does the cooking.

The menu attempts to be a little classier and more interesting than more traditional Vietnamese spots. There are at least 5 kinds of Ban Mih (basically a sandwich), but only a couple kinds of Pho (noodle soup) and Bun (cold noodle salad). They also feature wacky offering like meatball subs and hamburgers, and no, this is not the kids menu I'm talking about. The food is good here, but I'm not touching their meatball sandwich with a ten foot pole.



The food is good enough, but presentation and portions are a tad lacking. Pho comes with a whole assortment of fresh herbs, bean sprouts, lime wedges, etc. which is pretty typical. But the Bun dishes, usually accompanied by lovely piles of ground peanuts, shredded carrots, bean sprouts, meat, mint/cilantro, is merely a bowl of noodles with some shredded carrots and meat. Oh yeah, there is also some dried garlic sprinkled throughout which is actually an excellent addition.

So basically, it looks more like $5 meal than a $9 one.



For my money, Vietnam Cafe, Sung Son and Hien Vong are all better options. But for Johnson County, are there other Vietnamese gems out there?

So, basically underwhelming. I've put off reviewing this one for a while because there's just not a lot to say either negatively or positively. I'm not one of those people who has something great to say about every meal I eat, not something bad to say for that matter. Cafe Song is nice, but I just don't get real jazzed up about the prospect of going back often. It is not a good space to be a lone diner because it is so quiet and there's nothing to look at except people walking into Starbucks and Planet Sub across the street. But maybe with a small group it would be more interesting.

All this being said, I'm really happy to see how many Vietnamese places there are, even in the reaches of Johnson County. I don't think I've come close to visiting them all, but I will try.

New York Delicatessen: 7016 Troost

It was with much joy and anticipation that I sauntered into this venerable KC establishment that bills itself as "home of the awesome reuben." The Reuben is totally Prince Among sandwiches in my book. I am hard pressed to think of another sandwich that brings me as much joy. That being said, a good one is hard to find. I like Harry's Country Club and especially the Peanut for a good local reuben. But I have been driving by New York Deli and heard good things about it, so I would go there regardless of reuben availability.

Though no longer owned by the original family, NY Deli has been open for 103 years! It has been at 71st and Troost for about 60 of those years, a really remarkable achievement when you think about it. I read an article from a few years back that claims it is the oldest continuously operating restaurant in Kansas City. And it is a very interesting place, seemingly unencumbered by the pressure of serving classic NY deli fare in a neighborhood that has changed from a far-flung Jewish enclave into a widely diverse community whose future is very much up in the air. This is my way of saying that the stretch of Troost in the 60's and 70's blocks have almost been completely ruined physically. Aging strip malls, parking lots, cheap billboards--it's basically Wornall road without a lot of successful businesses, unless you count Walgreens. Well there's also Soil Service, my favorite lawn and garden store in the city.

Anyhow, let all this suffice to say that NY Deli is a weird vibe. While there I saw a group of business-looking guys purchase an entire salami (for $40+) and a priest eating a sandwich the size of his head. The only noise in the place comes from human voices and a bank of refrigerated deli cases.

This is a place for a serious sandwich, and a seriously good one at that. The corned beef is absolutely perfect--seasoned, warmed, and sliced to perfection. Every sandwich has meat sliced to order which is stupidly hard to come by these days. There are not a lot of frills here. If you want more than bread, meat, cheese and condiment, you may be out of luck.



They also have excellent kosher dill pickles (2 w/sandwich!) and a number of interesting items like cucumber salad, pasta salad, Kosher beef hot dogs, and chopped liver. Apparently the brisket is something special according to this annoyingly earnest youtube video.

But I have a quibble with NY Deli's "Awesome Reuben."

It is not grilled.

Sorry folks but unless it's grilled it's just a corned beef sandwich. Don't believe me? Check out this reuben photo gallery and tell me if you see one that isn't grilled. I can appreciate their effort to be unique but it should be called "Home of the Awesome Corned Beef Sandwich" and that's that.

But what a sandwich. First of all it is a triple decker, and even a blowhard like me can't get his big mouth around it (dirtiest sentence ever?). The swiss cheese is slightly aged, not the tame, pale 'baby' swiss hocked at price chopper and its ilk. The dressing is basically comprised of generous swaths of grainy deli mustard and mayonnaise. I had a really hard time coming to terms with the amount of mayo on the sandwich because I hate the stuff. But the whole thing was good enough that I ate the entire sandwich. No leftovers.

I need to go back and check out the baked goods, which appeared to be fairly popular. Strangely enough, they only have one kind of bagel and it totally sucks. It's basically a kaiser roll with a hole in the middle. But some of their sweet rolls look great. I'd also like to try the hot dogs and maybe some chopped liver on a brave day.

Further reading:
From the Pitch
KCactive.com

International Grocery: 7228 W 79th St.

This was an interesting lunch. I was driving east on 79th just beyond downtown Overland Park, heading god knows where when I saw this little spot I had not noticed before. There is a sign that reads "Taste of Russia." Next to that is a sign that says "International Grocery." In front of the door was a placard advertising $3.99 lunch specials with a free drink. A double-take and a u-turn later there I was. Here's the story of how I went in pursuit of borscht and wound up with middle eastern food...

This place is absolutely nuts, and I loved it. A sign on the door in rambling, verbage described how they would honor any competitor's coupons and would not be taken by scams or other unscrupulous business practices and so forth. Only the sign said it much less eloquently than that.



Inside was a small grocery full of all sorts of imported foodstuffs, vegetables in the sunset of their years, and items which can only be described as "knick knacks." Very gaudy knick knacks. Anyhow, there was also a deli counter full of salamis, sausages, dried and pickled whole fish, and various other delights. But I wasn't really getting a Russian vibe, mostly because the woman behind the counter was wearing an Islamic headscarf.

While waiting for the woman in front of me to remove 6 dozen coins from her handbag, count them, drop them, hand them over, take them back and hand them back again, I noticed that there were two tables by the front window with menus on them.

That's right, just two tables.

I read the menu while the change-lady--who sure as hell isn't Russian either--finally paid up. The menu was only barely making sense. "What's good?" I ask the proprietess. "Kabobs" she replies.

Kabobs? I thought this was "Taste of Russia?" I mean, there was even a photo of Supreme Overlord Russian President Vladimir Putin behind the cash register. I asked about Russian food, and she indicated the "Salami, bologna kielbasas--stuff like that" is the Russian food. She didn't sound too excited about it so I didn't push my luck. I don't want scary Russian bologna unless its prepared with love.

I ordered the kabobs.

She then told me it would take 15-20 minutes for her to prepare the meal. She disappeared behind a curtain for a long time. Someone came in the shop, looked at the menu and left. Someone else came in and talked (yelled) with the owner while she shopped. This was just too weird. I looked around the market while I waited and...hey wait, didn't meesha post about Russian candy yesterday? Just went back and read the post and not surprisingly, he mentions Taste of Russia at the end. Is this like some kind of weird harmonic convergence? Anyhow, KC's favorite Russian Jew is correct, there are a million kinds of candy at this place, easily 1/3 of their entire stock. I also discovered a hilarious soft drink called "Cockta" that I wanted to try but there was no bottle opener and the proprietor was hiding behind the magic curtain making my Russian kabobs or whatever. I was pretty much convinced this meal was going to be a disaster.

Jesus Christ that was a long wait, but finally the food arrived, steaming hot in a styrofoam container. And let me tell you, it was good, really good. If you had an Egyptian grandmother who was married to a Russian, this is what her food would taste like.

The kabob was very similar to the kind I had at Holyland Cafe, but came atop the most delicious rice dish I have ever had. The rice was cooked perfectly, and tasted simple and humble, complemented with nutty grains that looked like little brown squiggles, like...well, you ever seen fish poop? Anyway, there was also some chunky hummus which was surprisingly good and obviously made from dried garbanzo beans. The pita triangles were even toasted for my pleasure.

After I ate, I talked with the woman for a few minutes. She is indeed Egyptian and I couldn't get a straight answer why there was a sign that said 'Taste of Russia.' outside. I asked about all the Russian foodstuffs, but she simply said "this is the international grocery, we have everything."

This is definitely an odd experience, and I could go on and on, but I have rambled too much already. Basically, it's a great little ethnic market that has a lot of stuff you won't find anywhere else. I'm going to try the kielbasa next time, but I can't imagine this will be a regular stop for me, just because the awkward atmosphere. But I'm very glad I went and think everyone should pop in when they are in the neighborhood. Buy some candy.

Grandstand Burgers: Antioch and Merriam (Merriam, KS)

Well people, I made it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing when it comes to places in Johnson County these days, but I seem to be really making the rounds out there lately. I'm still gunning for the third district spots, believe me, I just can't really do it during the work week.

In a nutshell, Grandstand makes me a little jealous of Johnson County. And just to get things straight, the stretch of road that houses this humble little burger shack is not cupcakeland. It is total blue collar all the way. What amounts to "downtown" Merriam is little more than some auto repair shops, a lumber yard, a place that sells pavers and so forth, and a little hole in the wall that sells one of the best burgers in the metro.

Yes, I'll admit that the mystique of the place contributes a lot to its appeal. You can fit approximately 5 people inside the place before you have to start exchanging phone numbers. Most people eat out on picnic tables, with a plastic bottle of ketchup and a handful of overly skimpy napkins. And this place cranks out the burgers. I was there about 1pm yesterday and they were doing a stiff business, half of which was carryout.



Ok, down to brass tacks. The bun is grilled. Condiments come on the sandwich and include lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mustard, pickle, onion, and mayo. I always forego mayo because I think it is disgusting. I will never smooch anyone who likes mayonnaise. The cheese is American and prominent in the flavor symphony of the burger. The patty itself is clearly hand-formed and is the perfect size. Personally I don't like thick "restaurant-style" burgers. I like them thin, and these are fairly thin but really a good size compared to places like Max's and Town Topic. They offer double and even triple cheeseburgers as well. Wanna see the whole menu?

I ate my cheeseburger in, like, 38 seconds. I just couldn't stop myself.

I do have a (minor) quibble with the fries. The are cheap, out of the bag, crinkle-cut fries. They cook them as well as you can possibly cook them, by which I mean they don't undercook them, which everyone seems to do in this town.

No one likes a flaccid potato.

They just seem like cheap fries somehow. I mean Chefburger also uses frozen fries, but you get the feeling that they tried a lot of varieties and chose the best one. I think Grandstand just went for the cheapest that Sysco had to offer. The cheapness comes through in other ways too. For instance, I'm pretty sure that they are rockin' the generic ketchup in those red bottles. I can just tell. Anyhow, next time I go for the tater tots.

You know elsewhere in the country it is rare to see tater tots on a restaurant menu. No shit. I came to KC a couple years back and all these goddamn places had tater tots--that totally kick ass. Does anyone know why? Does anyone recognize this for the cute little local culinary identifier that it is? Is this a nationwide trend that I only noticed just now?

The Mixx: 4855 Main St.

All I can say is that the Mixx is one of those places I will go to only grudgingly. Are you one of those people who enjoys:

going to popular movies on opening night?
the chaos of the Apple Store?
Oklahoma Joe's on Saturday afternoon?
Disney World/Land?

You see, I'm not a people person. And when aforementioned "people" involve JoCo baby shower attendees, a plethora of three-year-old children and people eating lunch before seeing yet another boring white guy speak at the Plaza Library, well I get a little bit grumpy.

But the Mixx is totally good for those all too infrequent healthy/fresh cravings I get, particularly on weekend afternoons after a week of BBQ, Mexican food, brown-bag sandwiches, and deep fried delicasies. Well, at least I don't eat snack cakes any more, unlike some other people.

This is one of those build-your-own salads places. This is something that is done to reasonably good effect at grocery store salad bars, but the Mixx takes it to the next level. They have some very nice ingredients that cannot be found in the average salad bar, not even the highly-praised whole foods variety. Yeah I eat at whole foods once in a while, so what? So basically you can go into the Mixx and order mixed greens, romaine or spinach; topped with a protein like grilled salmon or chicken, and your choice of any number of cheeses, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. It's an airtight gimmick, it's delicious and it works.



There is always a line at this place, they do a very good business. You have to order at the counter and your salad is made to order. But it can be slow-going. As my co-diner noted "they always act like they are so surprised to be busy." And it's true, it's always a barely controlled mayhem behind the counter, but fortunately the staff is exceedingly kind, which almost makes up for paying $12 for a friggin salad.

Yeah, it ain't cheap and you will spend that kind of money easily if you're planning on drinking anything other than water. The desserts are a frequent temptation as well. I believe their cupcakes received one of those ubiquitous "best of" awards from the pitch a year or so back, and the cookies are excellent. But bring your goddamn wallet.

After recieving food from the counter you pay and navigate Kansas City's most cacophonous dining room to find a place to sit. Seriously it's so loud mostly becuase there are always tons of kids in there. And the table are, like 1 foot closer together than they should be so it's always dicey keeping your salad bowl upright while squeezing past some oblivious, no-job-having aging beauty queen and her brood. Seriously the seating area is loud, which normally would be fine, but I just wish that a place so close to the library would be a little mellower. For instance, they sell beer, but I can;t imagine kicking back and having a few at the Mixx for chrissakes. It's just not a fun place to hang out.

Being situated so close to the Plaza branch of the KC Public Library is great--it's almost the default restaurant for the institution. I personally think it's nice to be able to check out some books and read them over lunch at the Mixx. Or you have someplace to eat before/after a program at the Library. But the whole vibe there sort of bugs me. If they waited on me or had a salad bar, I might like it more. Yeah, crazy right?

The Pizza Man: 10212 Pflumm (Lenexa)

In the food world Chicago is mostly known for this



But my favorite part of living (and eating) there was this monstrosity



A big shout-out here to a reader and ex-Chicagoan who turned me on to Pizza Man and its truly delicious Italian Beef!

Just up the road a touch from Lenexa's hilariously named Stonewall Inn, lies an unpretentious lunch spot that serves up some of the best humble lunch classics in true Chicago fashion and its beef is good enough to sate those unmistakable meat cravings associated with this glorious nugget of beefosity.

For the uninitiated, an italian beef is a sandwich consisting of shaved roast beef that has been cooked with italian spices. It is invariably accompanied by a thin, beefy jus infused with oregano, and topped with sauteed peppers and/or onions and/or giardiniera. Giardiniera itself is worthy of its own post, no-its own blog, but suffice it to say that it consists of pickled peppers and other vegetables. It can be hot or mild and often contains oddballs like cauliflower, carrots, green olives, capers...really anything.



An italian beef can be served dry or wet (topped with a ladleful of jus) or dipped (dipped in the jus). Pizza Man serves the gravy on the side which works just fine for me. I know, wet bread? Sounds gross, but lemme tell ya people, it isn't. It's really really good. A lot of that has to do with the dense, spongy roll that is the carrier of all this deliciousness. It just works.

Pizza Man is a cool little place too. You order at the counter and Mr. Crusty at the counter (who really really really likes KU basketball) brings it out to you. The place was only a little busy but my beef did take a while to come out. And I got mine before the dude who was in front of me in line. Whatever, they got italian beef, man, they could tell me to fuck off and I'd still go back.

Anyway, there are a few arcade games in the joint too which you just don't see enough of anymore. Oh, did I mention they sell beer? yeah I'm thinking about knocking back a few, eating italian beefs and playing galaga all weekend.



So Pizza Man gets a big thumbs up from me. And the menu is very sizable--lots of pizza as you can imagine, and chicago style hot dogs to boot. They also have meatball sandwiches and some other heart clogging cravables.

If you are hankering for more check out this web page of italian beef photos!

Or the Wikipedia Entry

Lunch Spots in the Third District

I've been spending way too much time in Johnson County lately, at least as far as eating goes. About a year or so ago when the Viable Third movement started up I wanted to start exploring lunch spots in that area of the city. For various reasons, mostly involving a new job I have been unable to do much with the idea.

I started out blogging about downtown places precisely because of the apparent paucity of good, easy and delicious lunch options in the environs. Also I was new in town and seemed like a good way to explore what KC had to offer. Anyway, now I'm convinced that downtown has some decent options with some exploration and the solicitation of quality advice. Now I think I'll make a concerted effort to try out the third district once in a while and blog about the lunch spots there.

The third district is known primarily for a couple barbecue joints and the restaurants in the 18th and vine area. Even though the Peachtree decided to move downtown, it proved that a good restaurant can thrive in that neighborhood, despite the other well-articulated problems of the "jazz district." There are certainly other places that are well-known to those who live or work in the Third, and I want to know about them. There is a good list of restaurants on the viable third site and I've been to a few of them. What have your experiences been? Do you have favorites in the Third that are not on the list? Good or bad experiences with eating in the district?

Like any part of the city, the third district needs people from outside and inside the area to patronize its businesses in order to succeed. To me, it seems like a big reason people from Waldo or Lenexa or Leawood or KCK don't go to the Third in numbers is because they don't know what's there. I won't go into perceptions of race and crime because that varies with every individual-but it definitely plays a role.

Maybe there is not a lot to choose from, but I'll warrant that there are a handful of restaurants that warrant our continued patronage. Let's face it, Oklahoma Joe's and McCoy's won't miss a few customers if they choose to eat somewhere else once in a while.

Holyland Cafe: 12275 W 87th (Lenexa)

Holy Land Cafe is probably the best middle eastern food you'll find out in this part of Johnson County. Actually I have no idea if that's true since this is the only middle eastern place in JoCo I've eaten. But, I'm sticking by my declaration!



HLC is a fairly interesting spot in an unremarkable strip mall at 87th and Monrovia. You can't see it from the road because there is a Taco Bell in the way. From my red vinyl padded booth in this veritably empty restaurant I could see the Taco Bell drive-thru. They were cranking out hot cheesy beef melts and chalupas like crazy. The poor bastards at Holy Land Cafe can't be making a decent living unless they are running stolen goods out the back door or something. Which I wouldn't rule out.

Their website describes the place thusly: "Eastern aroma of mystery creates a calm quiet setting which includes classic and ethnic music." Wow, i couldn't have said it better myself. Yeah it was totally like a harem in there, what with all the hotel art, formica and vinyl. As for the music, I don't even remember what it was, but the dude in the kitchen was definitely watching some highly colorful "classic and ethnic" television.

Walking in the front door, it looks like this would be counter service, but you actually sit down and get waited on. The guys who run the place are...well, moderately creepy is the only phrase for it. The dude who waits tables is definitely not rude, maybe just incredibly shy. I gave him my order and he kind of stood there until I gave him the menu. Then I said "that's all I need, thanks" which is what gave him the cue to walk away. Yes, there was a Norman Bates quality to him.

Can I take your order sir?

But hey, the food is pretty good. I had a delicious kefta kabob pita, which came with a nice salad and a scoop of rice for good measure. Kefta kabobs are basically a delightful mixture of ground lamb and spices which are formed into balls and grilled. The were quite good, and a nice change of pace from middle eastern staples like falafel. The menu featured all the usual suspects: shawarma, falafel, hummus, tabouleh, as well as some other lunch specials for about six bucks. I distinctly recall several options for vegetarians as well.

There is tons of stuff on the menu, and I'll most likely be back when I'm out in that neck of the woods. Holyland cafe is situated right next door to a pretty sizable and good looking halal market. It's a like a little touch of Persia right in a strip mall in Lenexa.

Aixois: 251 E. 55th Street

This is a pretty high profile joint, located in the Crestwood shops at 55th and Brookside Blvd. I think that most people who live in KC proper know about Aixois, or have been there a time or two because its reputation is pretty airtight. Well, it's a well-deserved reputation because even though the clientele and the atmosphere don't do much for me, I keep going back.

The menu is a nice assortment of classically french entrees, salads, soups, sandwiches and desserts with several contemporary American flavors for good measure. You can get a traditional french meal of mussels and pomme frittes (that's french fries for you simple folk) which is just about the prefect lunch, assuming you have nowhere to be. It's nice to linger a while with some company and one more glass of wine than is advisable. I'm also a huge fan of the trout, well-priced at $12 and the steak dishes are always first rate. Because of its Frenchtacular nature, there is always something interesting like frog legs or veal liver for the more adventurous diners. Basically everything I've had there has been well-prepared, simple in flavor and nicely presented. They have specials every day to complement the regular menu, so there is a lot of choice.

For lunch there are plenty of less expensive options--a few sandwiches, a couple good salads as well as a soup of the day. The cheese plate pretty much rules. It is not as skimpy as those at other restaurants and never fails to make me slap my palm on the table with delight. Salad and a cheese plate = tasty lunch.

The service borders on over-attentive. The waitstaff really milks the whole fake-friendliness schtick, and the rich brookside geezers eat it up with a spoon. Not my scene but they butt out when they need to. The wine list is extensive and the servers know their stuff. By the glass is not cheap (most glasses are $9 or so) but generally they have a house bottle for $20.

Aixois has 2 dining rooms, one in the front and one in the back. The one in the front has a more intimate feel while the main room is a little noisier. It seems like they seat the old people in the front and the families with kids in the main room. Seriously, Aixois is chock full of old people. But strangely it is also kid-friendly and I always see families in there. Normally I far prefer old people over children, but the front dining room is a little stuffy for my taste. Best of all, there is a sizable outdoor patio that offers a view of sweaty yuppies and old folks puffing along the trolley track trail.

So if you want to reward yourself for a job well-done or whatever and are ready to spend some cash, Aixois is not to be missed. I can attest to the fact that the more you go, the more you like it. And the dude who owns it is actually French which has to count for something.

Best burger

I just noticed that my informal, unscientific, and truly silly Best Burger in KC poll is closed and here I am to provide thought provoking analysis of the results.

In a nutshell, Westport Flea Market beats the shit out of everyone else.

This is not too surprising because it is just too well known as a good burger joint. I think it's also probably wrong, but i really need to do some more empirical research on the subject. Oh yes, in second place? Who do you think?

None of the Above.

This was by no means an exhaustive list, but I thought I included all the important ones. So c'mon, leave a comment with your favorite places for a hamburger, especially if it didn't make the list.

I was also surprised to see that Red Robin got a few votes. Red Robin people? What the hell? i know they have these crazy burgers with crazy toppings like avocado, pineapples slices, olives, can o' corn, french onion soup....whatever...jesus, it's chain food: DISQUALIFIED. But if you really love Red Robin and think their burgers are truly the tops, please, I'm begging you, please write an impassioned defense of the establishment in the comments. That would be hilarious.

Lastly, no one voted for "yer mama." I was expecting at least one smart-ass to read this blog.

Kin Lin: 314 E. 51st

Well, Let me start by saying that Kin Lin is a great little place. It sits nestled in an unassuming shopping center on 51st street, just across the way from the UMKC campus. It shares a streetscape with Muddy's coffee house, Pride Cleaners (yeah they're not gay), a Russell Stover's and something else.

This charming but unassuming locale serves essentially as the business district for the university, which is frankly pathetic. I know, UMKC is a commuter school, there's no campus culture, the students are too busy with full time jobs and raising their babies. I'm calling bullshit on a lot of that, just ask anyone who lives in the student neighborhoods to the east and south of there. There are plenty of students who live by the campus. The area could use a few more good restaurants and shops geared toward a younger clientele. Really I'm just mad because there are so few good places to drink around there. I mean, you have the peanut on Main, Mike's on Troost and...and...um, Pizza 51? The Mixx? ah, screw it, let's go to Westport.

So Kin Lin is really cheap. And they will surprise you with some very tasty, freshly prepared dishes. No canned mushrooms here, people. Entrees come in large and small sizes and prices are very reasonable. You can get steamed or fried rice which is par for the course, and egg rolls are a buck. Lunch specials run less than five dollars, and include egg roll and soup.

Less than five dollars.

And this food is generally far better than Red Dragon House downtown though not quite as good as Bo Lings. But Bo Longs is kind of annoying isn't it? Especially the one in the board of trade building. But for the money, Kin Lin is a good lunchtime option in that neck of the woods. Not everything is great, you have to find some things that you enjoy and stick with them. The Chicken/Tofu and green beans is great, as is the spicy chicken, hot & sour soup, and pork in black bean sauce. The staff is super friendly, and I would just ask them what is good if you are feeling squeamish, which many folks do around super cheap chinese food. Just look at any restaurant review forum, chinese restaurants abound with tales of dead insects, rotten chicken, dog meat and other semi-racist rhetoric. Seriously, go to yelp and see for yourself.

This is a lunch spot, it doesn't matter that it's open for dinner. The space used to hold 7-8 tables, and now has more than doubled its size into the adjoining room. But it still ain't fancy. They still have a plastic christmas garland and icycle lights hanging in the front window. The modern-ish light fixtures are obviously from Target circa 2003. This attempt at remodeling is as charming as it is cheesy. Did I mention that this is table service? yeah, that's what I'm talking about. You'll have to ask for chopsticks and there is no fountain soda (cans only) but they are very friendly and efficient. You will get out of there in less than half an hour.

You will eat in close quarters which, depending on how much you hate other people, can be annoying. This large group of people at a table near me spent their entire lunch talking about network television. One person was excited about the latest season of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. This was surprising coming from a grown man, since I thought only ultra-christian conservatives and the mentally disabled watched that show. And please, i don't need another young white guy telling me how great The Daily Show or The Office are. Fine, I get it.

Blue Koi: Leawood Edition

Mission road in Leawood is becoming 39th street west.

Part of the fun of Blue Koi is its 39th Street location. It gets busy as hell on weekends. I enjoy putting my name in, giving them my cell number and hopping across the way to DB Cooper's for a half hour of cigarettes, PBR and burn-out psychodrama. After some dumpling and noodles at Blue Koi you can stroll over to Fric n Frac or some other little joint and have a cocktail or coffee or whatever. It almost feels like a real city for a minute. But wait, I'm supposed to be talking about lunch.

Now Blue Koi has a Leawood location, just south of 103rd on Mission road. Like its older sibling, it is very popular for lunch. Don't know about dinner. It is located in one of these weird semi-occupied mixed use developments. I think it is called "Mission Farms," probably because it used to be a farm before they sent the old guy away with a million dollar check for his land. Anyhow it's like storefronts with condos on the upper floors. But it basically feels like you are driving into a condo development, complete with a sign welcoming you to Mission Farms. And several of the storefronts seem like they have yet to be leased. Apart from the restaurant, it is eerily quiet in the parking lot. You know, because everyone who lives there is at work trying to pay for these places. Whoever developed this area probably had big ideas about dwelling and retail coexisting, complete with platitudes about vibrant pedestrian orientated living. But basically, you live in a condo in the suburbs above an overpriced chinese restaurant and a no-count hair salon. I'd be surprised if Mission Road has an uninterrupted sidewalk down to the new Room 39, another transplant from 39th street.

Back to basics: Blue Koi is very good at what they do. The menu at the Leawood location is pretty much identical to 39th street and the quality is similarly top-notch.

For the uninitiated, Blue Koi is a noodle and dumpling house that focuses on quality ingredients and fresh, homemade preparation. For most menu items you can choose whether you want them in a noodle soup, or just with noodles (sans broth) or with rice. It's a nice way to offer choice without going crazy. I think that it's pretty safe to do anything on the menu, whatever you choose won't ruin the experience.

As I said the food is very good in both locations, but the Leawood version is super business-lunch oriented in terms of clientele. The service at Leawood was also excellent. Just like 39th street, you can also sit at the bar and watch the chefs at work. While this would drive me crazy if I was one of the chefs, it's kind of cool for diners. It's like a people zoo.

I think this location is kind of a destination spot for JoCo corporate types who wouldn't venture to 39th street to begin with. It's very interesting when KC places duplicates their efforts in Johnson County, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I understand the need to expand, but it feeds into the whole mentality that Kansans are unwilling to head over to this side of the border. While many rant about it, I'm not sure it's completely true. If there wasn't a Blue Koi or a Bo Lings or a Room 39 in JoCo -- if people were forced to come to KC to appreciate good food, would they come? I honestly don't know, but I do know that I head over to Kansas frequently to eat food. Think Oklahoma Joe's or Il Trullo or whatever floats your friggin boat.

Anyhow, Blue Koi is great, everyone should eat there. Get the Chinese Pot Roast--it's subtle, delicately textured and delicious with noodles. Ants on a Tree is also delicious and very popular. The dumplings? also first-rate. But to be perfectly honest, I don't want to hang out in a Leawood condo development, even for lunch.

Toby Keith?

I do not love your bar and grill.

Westport Flea Market: 817 Westport Rd

Pretty much everyone loves this place, there are accolades all over the web, extolling the virtues of its ambience, uniqueness and mostly its hamburgers. Without question, the Flea Market is one of Kansas City's most interesting lunch spots, and well worth a visit for those who have not been there. It's also a decent place for happy hour, dinner and late nite carousing.

But it's not perfect, people.

For first-timers, the following is an important aspect of the dining experience to be aware of. While the tables have menus on them and there are plenty of waitresses about, food must be ordered from the register at the end of the bar. Unless you happen to arrive at a slow time, you'll see the line. You pay for your food at the register, and pick it up from a window when they call your name over the annoying loudspeaker. Waitresses operate only to serve drinks, and these must be paid for in cash on the spot, like any self-respecting bar. The beer selection in excellent, and they offer upwards of 20 on tap if I'm not mistaken. It is basically a bar that allows an external vendor to sell its wares within the confines. In fact, I think that is exactly the situation. The wait for food can be lengthy but not unreasonable for a lunch spot. The menu (pdf) has lots of stuff to offer, but it's the burgers that are their bread and butter.

Anyone who says the flea market offers the "best burger ever" is just fooling himself, and probably doesn't get out of town a whole hell of a lot.

Let's talk burgers for a moment. Burgers are about the whole package--the glorious assemblage of perfect meat, bun, toppings and condiments. There is also the very important notion of how it is cooked. Burgers can be grilled, fried, steamed, barbequed, oven-roasted, submerged in boiling oil, poached, oven-roasted and baked. Well, maybe not poached, that's gross. Anyhow, this is just to say that even the simplest of foods carries a lot of complicated decisions about ingredients and preparation. Anyone who watches the goddamn food network with any regularity knows that, in order to create the "perfect" anything, you need to consider every last detail. And in the end, the overly perky host always chalks it up to something hokey like "heart," "love," or the ubiquitous "it's in his blood."

While the burgers at WFM are excellent and I crave them periodically, they lack the complete package. The meat is excellent, freshly ground from McGonigles and has a texture and a flavor that is hard to parallel. But condiments and toppings are a do it yourself affair; the Flea Market has a fixins bar with the usual assortment of toppings: tomatoes, lettuce, onions, pickles, etc. But the bar pretty much sucks in terms of quality. It features shredded iceberg lettuce (ever try keeping that on a bun?), and the lamest pale, thin-cut tomato slices ever. The whole bar is vaguely unappetizing, with the contents of the tomato container veritably disintegrating into a mass of disjointed, flaccid flesh. Thick cut, yellow onion slices don't really do it for me either. I usually just get some pickles and make my way back to the table. Likewise the bun is unremarkable, slightly undersized and doesn;t seem up to the task of delivering this wonderful meat slab into your mouth.
The 'flea market burger' is quite large, and difficult to finish even for someone of my appetite and ever-increasing girth. I typically go with the mini-burger and some onion rings. The rings are excellent, not overly breaded, very crispy and taste like they didn;t come frozen out of a brown paper bag. The curly fries are what they are. Kind of boring, but with all the hallmarks of being homemade. Definitely try the deep fried pickles--the best I've had.

Oh, did I mention that there is a flea market? yeah, and quite a sizable one at that. I don't know the history of the place, but it definitely is incredibly original as a concept. It's neat to have a few beers and a burger, then walk around the stalls looking at old stuff for a while. Also a great way to kill time while yer food is cooking. Like most flea markets, the booths are slightly overpriced, and the proprietors seem lacking in most social graces, but it's fun nonetheless.

A few years ago, the Westport Flea Market was in danger of going away, subsumed by the onslaught of westport gentrification. But apparently some kind gent bought the place and pledged to keep it going in the same vein as before. By all accounts, this effort has been successful. So even if the burger isn;t perfect, it's still damn good and worthy of your discerning little mouths.

Map of KC Lunch Spots

Finishing a project of long ago, I've created a google map of all the lunch spots I've visited. Kind of like that guy who compulsively lists and describes every bar he's ever been to, only not nearly as fun. Why didn't I think of that first? Anyhow, this map will serve to help me keep track and will also allow me to link out to maps more than I do.

Bates City BBQ: 6493 Quivira Rd (Shawnee, KS)

Oh man, this place is pretty damn good. I was really, really, really surprised because from the road it looks like pure suburban douchebaggery.

It's in a pretty nondescript strip mall on Quivira south of Shawnee Mission parkway. Now, whenever I see BBQ in the KC area, I go. And to be frank, I had not heard of Bates City BBQ before, though i think there is a Bates City, Missouri out east of here somewhere.

This place has tremendous character. Yes, they try kinda hard, but they succeed. The first thing I noticed driving up was a sign advertising gennesee beer. You just don;t see Genny in these parts, and it was a legendary quaff among me and my associates in college. Of course, so were a dozen other cheap ass beers. Anyhow, the sign was cool, and the outside of the restaurant featured enormous stacks of wood piled high next to the entrance. I knew that they were doing some serious smoking in this place.

Inside, the service counter was basically a testament to the homespun wisdom of some guy named Tom. Probably the owner of the establishment. Anyhow, the walls and columns around the counter line are riddled with sayings written on torn pieces of brown paper bag. There were so many it's hard to remember, but here are a couple:

"If at first you don't succeed,
You're average" -- Tom

"Remember that half the people you know are below average" --Tom

I recall these particular sayings because I was enamored with Tom's obsession with putting people in their place. Tom is saying 'get over it people, you're not so great, you're just friggin' average! Deal with it!' This resonates with me because it's one of the unofficial themes of my life. Not that I'm average, just every one else is.

Anyway, I got a real kick out of these sayings although many of them flirted with redneckery ("The smartest thing a man ever said: 'Yes Dear'"). The places just oozes with a sense of humor. The styrofoam cups picture a steer and a pig, arm-in-arm around a fire, smiling like sonabitches.

The places smells delicious and is quite affordable. I purchased a nice sized sandwich, fries and soft srink for 7 bucks and change. The beef was very well flavored, featuring a mighty impressive smoke ring. I could have done without the sesame roll it came on. Where's the white bread, Tom? They are very liberal with the sauce on the sandwich, so be sure to ask for it dry if that's the way you roll. The fries were short little crunchy nuggets, kind of like the ass-end of the fryolator. But they were surprisingly delicious and I think this is deliberate. They are a pain to eat w/o a fork though.

The sauce was pretty solid. Typical KC stuff here: sweet, thick, tangy, well-flavored. Not in the pantheon of sauces, but very pleasant. The place really advertises its ribs a lot, they must be a favorite. The guy next to me in line got them, and they looked a little overcooked, and again, definitely oversauced. Contrary to popular belief, rib meat should not fall off the bone. That usually means it was finished in tin foil or (*shudder*) par-boiled before smoking. But I'll reserve ultimate judgment until I actually eat the damn things. And I will, because I'll be back.

The clientele is kind of what you'd expect for a Shawnee, Kansas BBQ joint. I think my nondescript Toyota was having serious inadequacy issues parked in between two cocktacular pickup trucks the size of humpbacked whales. There were no women to be found in the place, just middle aged guys with mustaches. Let's just say that Bates City is not a place where I'm inclined to talk politics.

Fronteras Mexican Restaurant & Cantina: 7779 Quivira

In my continuing effort to leave no suburban strip mall cuisine unexplored, I paid an unanticipated visit to Fronteras, a tasteful little lunch spot in a thoroughly unremarkable part of Lenexa. As opposed to the truly remarkable parts.

God there is a hell of a lot of Mexican food in Johnson County, I don;t know what's going on. Fronteras is across the street from another Mexican place, and down the street from yet another. Are they really all that different? One of them has to be good right?

Well Fronteras started out in very promising fashion. I was seated hurriedly, the place was moderately busy, orders were taken quickly and efficiently. They have a lunch menu which I kind of like. Basically you get one thing (taco, enchilada, tamale, etc) with rice and beans for like 6 bucks. Doesn't seem like a lot but it is the perfect portion size for lunch. I don;t understand people who need to eat an entire plate of cheesy, beany, meaty-ness before heading back to a brisque afternoon in the cubicle. Get a grip, people.

I went for the taco al pastor which is basically a seasoned pork, either roasted or braised slowly. The plate arrived very quickly, which was a good thing, since my neck hurt from watching two unknown soccer teams playing on the TV in the corner. Note: It's usually a good sign when mexican restaurants have soccer games going on two televisions. It means there might be real live Mexican people working there. It doesn;t matter if you like the sport or not. I don;t want to walk into a Thai restaurant and hear "eye of the tiger" over the stero system.

Anyhow i was excited for my taco, but it was so damn hot I couldn;t eat it for like 10 minutes. I swear, it was unreal, but fine with me since I can;t stand cold food. Finally I was able to take a bite, and...well...what is that flavor I detect?

Pineapple?

yes there is friggin' pineapple in the pork at this place. Now, I can understand that complementary nature of certain fruits and the deliciousness of pork-ity in all its forms. I can understand the impulse or even the need to experiment, and come up with a special recipe that will distinguish you from the glut of Mexican-ity in JoCo. But please do not put pineapple in my tacos al pastor! I'm sure there are people who like this, they find it unusual, intriguing, or even classy. Those people are wrong.

No it wasn't disgusting, just wrong. I ate it all, ate my refried beans (excellent by the way!) and rice (boil in bag?). So, more Mexican disappointment in the JoCo hinterlands. I know that there are good places in the metro, I've tried them and just haven't blogged about it yet. But not everyone can get to the boulevard or wherever when they want. I keep thinking that with so many Mexican restaurants, there should be a few that stand out. La Paloma is one, but there are a few things that bug me about it. No refried beans is a big one, the offer only black beans. Mi Ranchita is OK, but i prefer a more authentic cuisine and there's hardly a corn tortilla to be found in the place. And their use of cheese is really beyond the pale. So I'll keep trucking and keep complaining. happy (or unhappy) eating!

Maui Express: 8750 Santa Fe

From the outside, this place has the aura of a failed attempt at chain fast food written all over it. And the name is confusing. All I know about hawaiian cuisine is that they bury whole pigs in firepits where they cook for hours on end. That sounds like a whole lotta delicious to me, but Maui Express is a storefront in an ugly strip mall next to a Mr. Goodcents.

Moreover, when you walk in the place, there is a white dude in a mall-bought Hawaiian shirt behind the counter. Now, this gentleman was very friendly and efficient, I really appreciate that. But he had that cult-like way of staring through you found among fundamentalist christians and nerdy white guys who only date quiet asian girls. I'm pegging this guy for both.

The menu at Maui Express is really small, and is definitively Japanese in orientation. That makes sense, given the history and ethnic composition of Hawaii. Foremost among the menu items are "bowls." Basically these are Rice, steamed vegetable and the meat of your choice with a teriyaki sauce. Instead of white rice you can get noodles or brown rice. The prices are also exceedingly cheap --less than four bucks for the small bowl and under five for the large. Unless you get steak which increases the cost by 1.50 or so. Their motto is "eat healthy" so don;t get the friggin steak because they won;t know what the hell they are doing.

Anyway i ordered a large chicken bowl with brown rice. Everything was well cooked, including the rice. The vegetables, as promised were indeed steamed, but disappointing. You see, they really weren't the best veggies for the job--carrots, zucchini, and a few broccoli florets. Carrots and zucchini? Really? What is this 1994? Perhaps this is some sort of traditional Japano-Hawaiian preparation that I'm not familiar with, but personally I don;t get real worked up over steamed carrots and zucchini. They also aren't the best vegetables for you, compared to most others. At least there was no green pepper which would have made me puke.

Overall the food was very good, particularly the chicken which had been grilled, unlike the rest of the bowl. This provided a nice contrast of textures and flavors. The portion was very good as well. I didn't finish it all and even struggled to polish off all the chicken in light of my lack of zucchini enthusiasm.

The best part of the whole restaurant, however, was the music. yes the lush strains of Hawaiian music filled the air for my entire stay and I imagine all the live long day. This was a great touch, but unkind to employees. That would drive me insane--try listening to Hawaiian slide guitar for 8 hours straight. I could maybe make it through 4 hours and only if I was drinking.

So in summary, Maui Express is weird. Certainly not a "destination" lunch spot. But if you are hungry and passing through the OP, or if you work nearby and tire of Arby's bacon and cheddar melts, go for it.

Fritz's Chili: 6737 W. 75th St.(OPKS)

This place is easy to miss if you don't know about it. Despite its high traffic location on 75th just east of Metcalf, Fritz's is located in a strip mall fairly far back from the street next to an auto parts store. It has a truly charming exterior, complete with a neon sign and big windows. This is charm in the old school sense, not in the tin-ceiling, brick, and exposed ductwork sense. I could just tell this was going to be something special before I got within 100 feet of the place.

Holy cow this place is old school. There is a nice, low lunch counter with chrome stools attached to the floor, reminding us of simpler days when apparently people did not have knees. There is a fair sized "dining room" but it's a very casual affair--no booths or anything cuddly like that. Each table holds a dispenser of impossibly flimsy napkins, a squirt bottle of vinegar, another bottle of vinegar infused with a healthy handful of hot peppers, and a shaker of chili powder.

Apart from myself, the clientele ranged in age from 75 to 95. This is not a bad thing. Anyhow, as solo diner, i ventured to the lunch counter next to a woman reading the pitch and eating a curious concoction of what must have been "chili." From a plate. The waitress took one look at me and asked "you ever had our chili before?" Admitting I had not, she grabbed an 8^1/2" x 11" laminated sheet and set it on front of me. She told me that this item explained what their version of chili was, and how to order it! This place doesn't even have a real menu, it's just posted on a few aging letter boards up on the wall. But they have about 500 words telling you how to order your lunch. I love curmudgeonliness in all its forms.

You see, Fritz's chili is basically just ground meat and spices. It is not cooked with beans and probably not tomatoes either. But you can order beans with it, along with cheese, onions, and other stuff including "bean sauce" which reminds me of the juice from a can of beans, but is probably not. You see, Fritz doesn't roll like that. The bean juice serves to moisten the whole affair and is really quite nice. I ordered a hot tamale covered with chili and beans, and a cup of shredded yellow cheese on the side. The waitress called it out to a dude in a white hat and apron who plated it up in about 10 seconds. The food is dished out right behind the counter--most of the prep and heavy duty cooking seems to happen in a large kitchen in the back. I think the kitchen is bigger than the dining room. The waitress, sensing my naivete, brought me some bean sauce in case I found it too dry. And I did, thank you very much. The best part is that the bean sauce came in a ceramic coffee mug. I thought that was very cute.

Anyhow Fritz's offers their various permutation on chili, as well as chili burgers, and of course, chili dogs. You can get chili in three different sizes, and the plates are carefully hung behind the counter so everyone knows how much they are getting. I have the feeling that this measure, along with the explanatory laminated page, were taken to prevent people from expressing displeasure. They tell you up front what to expect. As my favorite sentence explained "if you just order 'chili' you are going to get a plate of ground beef." This is a very oddball kind of place and I loved it.

Not that the chili was all that great. It just didn't have a lot of kick or spice or pizazz. I think that you kind of have to find what suits you--the relative blandness lends itself well to multiple toppings and side items. Jalapenos, sour cream, cheese, hot sauce, would all be good. I did like the vinegar a lot, and overall the meal benefited greatly from a modest sprinkling of salt. But it's not someplace I'm going to visit often. It's a great slice of what people annoyingly call "Americana"--some dude named Fritz knew how to make chili, never redecorated, and managed to survive the onslaught of suburbanization. Seriously this place is a rarity and is worth a visit for the experience alone. It's very friendly, extremely quiet, and generally a nice old diner atmosphere. It's worth a visit once in a while just to keep it in business.

40 Sardines: 119th and Roe

I imagine this place is better for a nice dinner than it is for lunch. But rich people gotta go somewhere right?

Welcome to 40 Sardines a truly beautiful restaurant right in the heart of JoCo's ridiculousness known as Town Center Plaza. Actually is at the edge of TCP but you know what I mean.

40 Sardines is the kind of place you take a client out for lunch. If only I had clients in my line of work. Or perhaps a birthday lunch for a co-worker, if only I worked close to there. Or perhaps someplace to have a nice bite and a glass of wine after a hard morning having your nails done, shopping for the kids at Vera Bradley, and purchasing a $100 cheese grater for the maid at Williams-Sonoma. That's the lunchtime vibe here.

Not that the food isn't delicious.

The lunch menu is pretty small for a typical lunch place, but not for a fancy restaurant. If you are up for a nice lunch, there is plenty to be excited about, like wood-fired burger, crispy short rib sandwich, and the Gala apple, maytag blue cheese, confit chicken & bibb lettuce concoction. A few things, like the 'Olive oil poached ahi tuna melt panini' make it seem like they are trying too hard. It's like they are combining three trendy preparations in the hopes that ones of them sticks. The menu changes periodically--sometimes they have a delicious seared scallop dish that is not to be missed and a decent lettuce wrap plate with vietnamese dipping sauce.

The style of the restaurant gets a little lost, but it seems to lean toward the pan-asian classification. I tend to be suspicious of places that don't have "specialties," but generally this chef is good enough to pull it off. You won;t have a bad meal here, but it won;t blow you away. The prices are very good for what you get, everything runs between 8 and 13 bucks, but the portions are not huge. But you'll live.

The service is the usual 20-something kiss your ass bullshit that you get at nice restaurants. They are clearly trained to make small talk, suggest dishes, wines and so-forth which may appeal to some douche bags but not this one. I have had great service there once, and perfectly efficient but semi-annoying service the other few times.

Though I'm not a big wine-drinker, it's easy to see why folks are impressed with the wine selection. They offer a number of items by the glass and the bottle, including the unbeatable "20 wines for 20 dollars!" Usually places will have maybe one $20 bottle, but this is pretty sweet. But for lunch? not the biggest draw.

JoCo folks love this place because they feel that finally they have a really good locally owned restaurant to be proud of. No, Applebee's doesn't count. For my money, Il Trullo beats the pants off 40 Sardines, but it's kind of apples and oranges. Anyhow, check it out for a pompous good time and some decent eats. If you are the meat and potatoes kind of person, it's best to skip it.